An hour you'll never get back, and the recording will be on the wiki by Tuesday. Ten clean excuses, plus a generator.
10 hand-picked excuses
01
Customer call that I cannot move; I'll watch the recording today.
02
Deep-work block on a deliverable due tomorrow.
03
Mid-incident; declining all non-on-call meetings until clear.
04
Partner team meeting in another time zone; can't shift.
05
Interview I'm running; recruiter scheduled it over the all-hands.
06
Doctor appointment that's been on the calendar for months.
07
Childcare gap that I cannot rearrange today.
08
Pre-read review for tomorrow's exec meeting.
09
Travel; in transit through the all-hands window.
10
PTO; I'll catch the recording when I'm back.
Or generate one
Click below for a fresh excuse.
FAQ
What's the most credible excuse for a company all-hands?
Customer call that I cannot move; I'll watch the recording today. It works because it's specific, honest about the trade-off, and short enough that nobody has follow-up questions.
Can I use the same excuse twice?
Sparingly. Pattern-match is the enemy of plausibility. Rotate from the list of 30 on this page.
Should I post a written update instead?
Almost always yes. A two-sentence async update earns more trust than showing up silent on camera.