Remote work moved the office into buildings that were never designed to be quiet at eleven on a Tuesday, and the result is a permanent soundtrack of other people's lives. Somewhere above you is a drill. Somewhere outside is a leaf blower, operated by one man, pursuing one leaf, for forty minutes. The bin lorry arrives at exactly this time every Tuesday and it always wins. The correct approach is to name it once, quickly, and then carry on, because unexplained noise is far more distracting than explained noise. Once a room knows it's a drill, the drill becomes weather. If you don't name it, six people spend the next ten minutes privately wondering what is happening at your house, which is a worse outcome for everybody. The animals deserve their own note. Nobody has ever been annoyed by a dog on a call. The dog hears the postman, the dog takes it personally, and every single person in that meeting understands completely. Below are ten excuses for background noise on a call, plus twenty in the generator for when the extension next door enters month nine of a three-month job.
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